Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The one with a faith goal

For 2007, what will be your faith goal???

In the first place, what is a faith goal anyway? as shared by my achie (SIL), faith goal is something that you want to achieve for this year, may it be spiritual blessing, emotional, financial, business or career improvement, etc. You put it in writing and offer it to God so He will bless it and He will make it come true in your life...Of course, when you ask for your faith goal, you also have to pray that it is God's will in your life.

How do you come up with your faith goal? Simply pray and ask God to bless you with whatever it is you want to be blessed. After that, write it on a sheet of paper and whenevery you spend time with the Lord, offer those faith goals to Him and ask Him for wisdom of how to accomplish those things.

I did this when I was in college. I did'nt know it was a faith goal. all i know is that i want to make a timetable for my life and wrote down 5 things that i want to accomplish in life after five years. as far as i can remember, here are those things:

1. get married at the age of 25 or 26
2. have a bank account of P 200,000.00
3. buy a car - need not be brand new, basta may aircon and radio
4. get promoted in a good company
5. invest on a business

you know what...God gave me those 5 things as i turned 26 two years ago. i got married at 26, wherein we were able to save up that kind of money and still had a something left for us to start with. i had my 'bhabes' at the age of 21 since i really wanted to learn how to drive. kasi nga naman daw, i didnt ask for a brand new car kaya ayun, 2nd hand nga lang at talagang may aircon at radio lang.nothing more nothing less. hahaha. pero bhabes got me through a lot of things. she brought me everywhere and sa kanya kme natuto ni simon mag-drive talaga kaya selling her now makes me a little sad. at least, pagagandahin naman sya nung bibili e. so okay lang. and company gave me a car already and we named her "Nisai". it's a biblical name, "praise or banner of God". i was recently given a good position in the company. im still trying to make my way to it but everything is okay. and for so long, we have sideline businesses that we do every now and then ni simon. ewan ko ba, kahit working kme pareho, mahilig talaga kme sa businesses.

see...God is limitless. we can ask everything from Him...kahit ano pa yun???!!!

Make your faith goal now and see God's move in your life!

what's my Faith Goal?? i'll share it soon! pagpe-pray ko muna. :D God bless.

The one with 3 weeks left

...i have three weeks left until we welcome baby Simone in the world
...i have three weeks to go before i run out of excuses of why i eat so much
...i have three weeks more until we say goodbye to what we call 'goodnight sleep'
...i have three weeks more until i feel the real pain of motherhood. (which by the way terrifies me already)
...we have three weeks more until we become a family :)

you see, everything is still 'halo-halo' for me. there's excitement of course dahil super lapit na namin makita ang baby namin. we're so thrilled to see her, touch her, embrace her and kiss her. my sisters are already talking about celebrating her 1st birthday. sabi ko, " sandali ha, iisipin ko muna how i will get through the delivery stage, then we can talk about her birthdays...hahaha" mas matindi pa sa ken eh kasi ako baptism pa lang nya pinaplan namin. hehehe.

and then there's fear...more like a soon-to-be parent kind of fear. yung tipong, "will i be able to do this?" "what should we do to raise her well?" "what can we do so she wont get sick?" yung mga ganun ba...siguro normal naman tong nararamdaman ko.

Pero overall, mas excited kami to finally see the first apo in the Tan-Fermin families! haaayyy... God bless you baby Simone.

At 8 months and 1 week, my baby has grown so much. she has learned new 'circus' tricks in my tummy, she knows how to kick mommy's tummy and make 'inat'. i can feel her tuhod and siko altogether. parang stretch na stretch. sabi ng mga mommies ko, naghahanap na daw kasi sya ng pwesto kaya daw ganun. she gets hiccups after i eat, katuwa. she loves to play in the evening, tulog sya sa umaga at hapon. (read: puyat ito!), she loves to show off her butt in the morning, she only tames down in the evening when her daddy sings her a lullaby. its more like a song by gary v. actually. the lyrics are so nice and everytime kakantahin ni simon yun, masarap ang tulog nya sa gabi.

scary lang last night when i thought manganganak nako dahil ang tigas ng tummy ko. as in!pero no pain eh, tapos nakatulog din naman ako so okay na pag gising ko. kinausap namin si baby and asked her na konting tulog na lang ang hintay nya. 3 weeks na lang then she can go out na. she really wants to come out na...as in! kaya nga id tell my sis in law,who'd always call her name, to stop it muna kasi na-eexcite lalo si simone. hihihi.

from my last check-up, i gained 26 lbs. already. good weight gain so far. next schedule is this thursday. i hope to have an ultrasound kung sasabihin ni dra.

our company is leaving again for HK and China this feb. 7-11. i felt a little sad at first pero okay na rin kasi may baby naman ako and i've been there so wala naman mawawala sa ken. wala lang dadalaw sa ken sa hospital na officemate when i give birth. hehe. good thing though, i get to have pasalubongs without me buying them! yahoo!!!

i miss our office and honestly, i feel a little guilty of having to take an early maternity leave. pero it surfaced, my family is more important. sabi nga ng boss ko, my condition is far more important than work. pero i still call them every other day to check on things at para hindi ako mawala sa cirkulasyon. hehehe.

The one with a prayer list

Prayer items: please pray for us...thanks!

1. safe and normal delivery for me. im still clinging on a normal delivery for simone pero whatever is God's plan for us, we will accept it.

2. that baby simone will wait three more weeks before she can be delivered. she's so excited to explore the world, i hope she'd wait more.

3. i will get through the labor pains. i will know how to push when they say push.

4. financial provision. we are so blessed that as part of my benefits, company will shoulder all expenses for my delivery. pero syempre, it doesnt end there.

5. perfect health for baby simone, free from all possible sickness and a normal and healthy baby girl

Additional prayer items:

For the family left by Pyro, I pray that God will always guide them and give them the peace and joy they need at this time of grief. To Pyro, thank you for blessing and inspiring many lives.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The one with an early maternity leave

this is something new to us...very shocking and overwhelming ang turn of events. i never realized we would celebrate christmas in a hospital. with all the preparations we've been doing, i'll end up pala in a hospital. dala na rin ng stress due to last-minute errands at work and christmas rush, nag-minor bleeding me that caused me to be confined. Dec. 24 at 2am, i just wanted to go to the CR pero nung nag-CR ako, may big clot na sumama. twas very traumatic. we cried seeing the blood and we rushed to the hospital. i was put in the labor room and was controlled. kasi 7.5 months pa lang ako and my water bag naman did'nt open so kinontrol lang nila ang bleeding ko. i did'nt feel anything kasi na masakit, no contractions. tumitigas lang ang tyan ko dahil gumagalaw daw si simone pero other than that, wala. for 10 hours, di kme nagkita ni simon. while in the labor room, i was praying and talking to God na ingatan si baby simone and that His plan will always be the perfect plan for us. nung medyo nag-subside ang bleeding, i was checked in na sa room. di pako nakakapasok sa room, sinalubong nako ni simon. and there, nag-iyakan na kme. haayy! it was an MMK (Maalala Mo kaya)moment. i remember him saying na "dont worry beh, everything will be okay. i love you." and tears just fell. up to now, pag naaalala ko yung moment na yun, nakaka-teary eyed pa rin.

when i was transferred on my bed na, andun pala ang parents ko sa room and abi and romy. hehe. nakita tuloy nila kme na umiiyak. i was literally bedrest for 5 days. as in kahit comfort needs, sa bedpan lang. it was a test of true love for us. i've always felt that Simon is God's best for me and this experience was one big proof of that. He really took care of me. He'd put on my bedpan pag mag pee and poop me. arrrgh! the poop thing is the most embarassing pero i only did it once. Simon has a gift of making things light...yung kahit nahihirapan nako, he can turn the situation into a positive tone na matutuwa ka na lang basta. yung poop experience nga namin was a funny one...basta i wont go into details na. hehe.

All things work together for good…Everything under heaven has a good and Godly purpose.

For all the sudden things that transpired during the last two weeks, it was more of a learning experience for us as a couple. Challenging, yet a blessing for us. I would always tell myself, in situations as these, that everything has two sides. There’s always a positive and a not so positive side. We make it a point to choose the positive one. This is what connects us to our God. That positive attitude in life that promotes and builds our faith in Him.

Pero syempre, as human as iam, I was scared…really scared for that matter. It was traumatic having to see such sight. I know I can deliver the baby at 7 months pero I still wanted to deliver her full-term. I also felt guilty for abusing my body and absorbing all the stress as though im not pregnant. Believe me, ang daming nagsasabi sa ken na parang hindi daw ako buntis, I was active as I was when I was not yet pregnant, I only relax when I feel something unsusual (which is very seldom because I ignore those unusual feelings), I still drive although not that often naman, I still went out-of-town a week before it happened. (I still think that triggered everything since our car broke down and I was stressed that day during fieldwork). Lesson learned: DO NOT abuse the comfort of pregnancy that I once had.

We celebrated Christmas in the hospital…for the very first time. All our families, on both sides, came during noche Buena time and they brought food. They all had an early Christmas dinner so they can be with us in time for Christmas. Simon and I were so touched that we are so blessed with families who have given us so much love and support. Hindi pa man pinapanganak si baby Simone, talagang ramdam nya na ang love that our families have for her. We went home last Dec. 28 and we’re staying muna with my in-laws since our place is a 2-storey apartment and I also need someone to be with me all the time, just in case I go to labor already. We were so preparing for Christmas, and yet we still did’nt have a “matino” celebration. Last year kasi we just got married, so super bangag pa kme to prepare. Now naman, I even printed out new recipes to cook pero hindi pa rin pala. Hehehe. I guess next year sure na. Sabi kasi ni Lord, masyado daw ang planning kaya ayan, pinag-rest nya muna ako.

Lessons learned…oh there are so many things…and I keep on discovering the reasons why God had to let this happen.

One, He wanted me to take things slow and take each day one day at a time. Restless that i'am, God taught me to relax and appreciate things that i have. kumbaga nga, take time to lie on the grass and smell the flowers. it wont hurt to get things at a certain pace.

Two, God has once again manifested in our marriage and reminded us that Simon and I are really meant for each other. Simon has been my constant bestfriend, comforter, clown, disciplinarian, and husband. He has taken good care of me ever since and kahit pasaway talaga ako, i never heard one negative word from him. well, napagsabihan nya ko pero he understood me pa rin.

Three, God has given me enough time to bond with my child while im on bedrest. the luxury of time that i have right now is very overwhelming. i mean, i can move around the house naman kasi di naman nako totally bedrest kaya i can still do things that i like and get to enjoy that quality time with my unborn child. we have one month left before she arrives and everyday, im starting to feel that she's responding to what i say. ngayon ko lang na-experience to and im blessed to have her. she's giving me so much joy already kahit di ko pa sya pinapanganak. in fact, when i feel alone sa room ko i'll just talk to her and she will respond by kicking me(which hurts sometimes, hehe) or by showing her butt (which is big, nagmana sa ken). just the other night, i woke up in the middle of the night and felt her hands and knees moving around, as if trying to stretch my tummy. grabe, i know those were the parts kaya happy na happy me. i got to see her once again sa emergency ultrasound that i had in the hospital. she's completely well and twas so precious having to see her eyes as if she was looking straight at me...and blinking. after a while, she was mouthing as if wanting to eat something. nakakatuwa, the sonologist laught also kasi ang cute daw. and true enough, kamukha sya ni Simon. hahaha. as in she got her daddy's eyes, shape of face, cheeks and chin. ang sa akin lang ata ay nose and lips. hehe. pero we're still hoping we can have that 4d ultrasound next week so we can have a souvenir of her in my womb.

Four, God has really blessed us with the best families and friends ever. there was not a day in the hospital na wala kaming visitors and/or family na andun. the morning nung na-rush ako, everyone was in the room waiting for me. as in lahat! even our pastor and his wife were there also. we felt God's love through them and we sincerely thank them.

Now, we're staying at our in-laws. My MIL and my mom are the ones taking care of me pag may pasok si simon sa office. super spoiled nga ako eh. kahti ano gusto ko, bigay agad. hehehe.

When i had our check-up last Jan. 4, doctor said naman that i can deliver baby 1st week of feb, pinaka-late is feb. 14. naka-close naman ang funnel ni baby so safe naman daw. i just have to really take care para hindi mag-contract. so far, wala ako nararamdaman na contraction. tumitigas lang talaga si baby when she moves which is normal naman daw.

We offer everything to God. I know He will take care of us and He will help us get through this. We've offered baby Simone to Him already and I know He has the perfect plan for this child. He will use this child to bless and inspire people around her, and most importantly, to glorify and bless Him.