The one with an early maternity leave

this is something new to us...very shocking and overwhelming ang turn of events. i never realized we would celebrate christmas in a hospital. with all the preparations we've been doing, i'll end up pala in a hospital. dala na rin ng stress due to last-minute errands at work and christmas rush, nag-minor bleeding me that caused me to be confined. Dec. 24 at 2am, i just wanted to go to the CR pero nung nag-CR ako, may big clot na sumama. twas very traumatic. we cried seeing the blood and we rushed to the hospital. i was put in the labor room and was controlled. kasi 7.5 months pa lang ako and my water bag naman did'nt open so kinontrol lang nila ang bleeding ko. i did'nt feel anything kasi na masakit, no contractions. tumitigas lang ang tyan ko dahil gumagalaw daw si simone pero other than that, wala. for 10 hours, di kme nagkita ni simon. while in the labor room, i was praying and talking to God na ingatan si baby simone and that His plan will always be the perfect plan for us. nung medyo nag-subside ang bleeding, i was checked in na sa room. di pako nakakapasok sa room, sinalubong nako ni simon. and there, nag-iyakan na kme. haayy! it was an MMK (Maalala Mo kaya)moment. i remember him saying na "dont worry beh, everything will be okay. i love you." and tears just fell. up to now, pag naaalala ko yung moment na yun, nakaka-teary eyed pa rin.

when i was transferred on my bed na, andun pala ang parents ko sa room and abi and romy. hehe. nakita tuloy nila kme na umiiyak. i was literally bedrest for 5 days. as in kahit comfort needs, sa bedpan lang. it was a test of true love for us. i've always felt that Simon is God's best for me and this experience was one big proof of that. He really took care of me. He'd put on my bedpan pag mag pee and poop me. arrrgh! the poop thing is the most embarassing pero i only did it once. Simon has a gift of making things light...yung kahit nahihirapan nako, he can turn the situation into a positive tone na matutuwa ka na lang basta. yung poop experience nga namin was a funny one...basta i wont go into details na. hehe.

All things work together for good…Everything under heaven has a good and Godly purpose.

For all the sudden things that transpired during the last two weeks, it was more of a learning experience for us as a couple. Challenging, yet a blessing for us. I would always tell myself, in situations as these, that everything has two sides. There’s always a positive and a not so positive side. We make it a point to choose the positive one. This is what connects us to our God. That positive attitude in life that promotes and builds our faith in Him.

Pero syempre, as human as iam, I was scared…really scared for that matter. It was traumatic having to see such sight. I know I can deliver the baby at 7 months pero I still wanted to deliver her full-term. I also felt guilty for abusing my body and absorbing all the stress as though im not pregnant. Believe me, ang daming nagsasabi sa ken na parang hindi daw ako buntis, I was active as I was when I was not yet pregnant, I only relax when I feel something unsusual (which is very seldom because I ignore those unusual feelings), I still drive although not that often naman, I still went out-of-town a week before it happened. (I still think that triggered everything since our car broke down and I was stressed that day during fieldwork). Lesson learned: DO NOT abuse the comfort of pregnancy that I once had.

We celebrated Christmas in the hospital…for the very first time. All our families, on both sides, came during noche Buena time and they brought food. They all had an early Christmas dinner so they can be with us in time for Christmas. Simon and I were so touched that we are so blessed with families who have given us so much love and support. Hindi pa man pinapanganak si baby Simone, talagang ramdam nya na ang love that our families have for her. We went home last Dec. 28 and we’re staying muna with my in-laws since our place is a 2-storey apartment and I also need someone to be with me all the time, just in case I go to labor already. We were so preparing for Christmas, and yet we still did’nt have a “matino” celebration. Last year kasi we just got married, so super bangag pa kme to prepare. Now naman, I even printed out new recipes to cook pero hindi pa rin pala. Hehehe. I guess next year sure na. Sabi kasi ni Lord, masyado daw ang planning kaya ayan, pinag-rest nya muna ako.

Lessons learned…oh there are so many things…and I keep on discovering the reasons why God had to let this happen.

One, He wanted me to take things slow and take each day one day at a time. Restless that i'am, God taught me to relax and appreciate things that i have. kumbaga nga, take time to lie on the grass and smell the flowers. it wont hurt to get things at a certain pace.

Two, God has once again manifested in our marriage and reminded us that Simon and I are really meant for each other. Simon has been my constant bestfriend, comforter, clown, disciplinarian, and husband. He has taken good care of me ever since and kahit pasaway talaga ako, i never heard one negative word from him. well, napagsabihan nya ko pero he understood me pa rin.

Three, God has given me enough time to bond with my child while im on bedrest. the luxury of time that i have right now is very overwhelming. i mean, i can move around the house naman kasi di naman nako totally bedrest kaya i can still do things that i like and get to enjoy that quality time with my unborn child. we have one month left before she arrives and everyday, im starting to feel that she's responding to what i say. ngayon ko lang na-experience to and im blessed to have her. she's giving me so much joy already kahit di ko pa sya pinapanganak. in fact, when i feel alone sa room ko i'll just talk to her and she will respond by kicking me(which hurts sometimes, hehe) or by showing her butt (which is big, nagmana sa ken). just the other night, i woke up in the middle of the night and felt her hands and knees moving around, as if trying to stretch my tummy. grabe, i know those were the parts kaya happy na happy me. i got to see her once again sa emergency ultrasound that i had in the hospital. she's completely well and twas so precious having to see her eyes as if she was looking straight at me...and blinking. after a while, she was mouthing as if wanting to eat something. nakakatuwa, the sonologist laught also kasi ang cute daw. and true enough, kamukha sya ni Simon. hahaha. as in she got her daddy's eyes, shape of face, cheeks and chin. ang sa akin lang ata ay nose and lips. hehe. pero we're still hoping we can have that 4d ultrasound next week so we can have a souvenir of her in my womb.

Four, God has really blessed us with the best families and friends ever. there was not a day in the hospital na wala kaming visitors and/or family na andun. the morning nung na-rush ako, everyone was in the room waiting for me. as in lahat! even our pastor and his wife were there also. we felt God's love through them and we sincerely thank them.

Now, we're staying at our in-laws. My MIL and my mom are the ones taking care of me pag may pasok si simon sa office. super spoiled nga ako eh. kahti ano gusto ko, bigay agad. hehehe.

When i had our check-up last Jan. 4, doctor said naman that i can deliver baby 1st week of feb, pinaka-late is feb. 14. naka-close naman ang funnel ni baby so safe naman daw. i just have to really take care para hindi mag-contract. so far, wala ako nararamdaman na contraction. tumitigas lang talaga si baby when she moves which is normal naman daw.

We offer everything to God. I know He will take care of us and He will help us get through this. We've offered baby Simone to Him already and I know He has the perfect plan for this child. He will use this child to bless and inspire people around her, and most importantly, to glorify and bless Him.