The one with pains of a working parent

These are the words of my colleague while we were exchanging gtalk mails. He had a hard time leaving his daughter at home while he goes to office for work today, that’s after four whole days of not seeing his 10-month old baby because of our conference in Boracay held last week.

I had a more serious need for damage control! We went ahead of the whole group since we were the organizing committee. I kept on excusing myself for the “advance party” coz I really wanted to be left behind so I can have more time for my baby. Unfortunately, they needed all the help they can get. I joined them and went there last Wednesday. As soon as I brought her to her grandparents and got back to my seat in the car, I cried whilst driving. Simon kept asking me if I’m feeling ill or if there’s a problem. I just told him that I miss Simone already. I cannot believe it! As in, I already miss her and cannot actually imagine how it would be not being with her for five freaking days!

I know she’ll be alright, I know she will be well taken cared of and she will get everything that she needs. It just pains to accept the fact that because of my work, I’d have to leave her behind.

Every night, whenever I looked at her pictures, I cried. Overacting to some, pero that’s how I felt and I can’t force myself to get over it and feel fine about it coz I simply don’t. Pero come Sunday, I was sooo excited to go home and see her. When I landed manila, I had a mixed emotion of fear and excitement. Fear that Simone might not remember me na and excitement to see her again. That fear ended when I saw her finally and she smiled at me after a few minutes. She just woke up so I knew she was still half asleep when she first saw me, thus, the blank stare. Haha.

But man, she really grew up! It’s as if I did’nt see her for a year. She’s sooo big already, and she has a different cry now. She shouts whenever she wants to say something and extends her hands when she wants to be carried. She’s loving the “habulan” game already.

Haaayyy…if I can only stay at home and take care of Simone…super dream ko yun right now…to be able to be a hands-on mom to my baby. The pains of a working parent nga naman!

I want to be there when she utters her first word, when she attempts to do her first clap and when she tries to crawl and walk. I want to be the first to witness everything! when her lola tells stories of her development that i wasn't able to witness first, i just smile and feel happy that she's doing so much progress. pero at the back of my mind, i always wish na that was me in their position, telling stories of how she's growing up. haaayyy...