Thursday, December 10, 2009

The one with really got sad

It just sunk in...I really am fat...The thought just sunk my fat brain and i really felt sad.

I was trying some dresses for emily's wedding and it's the first time i felt that nothing as in nothing fits right. even if the dress fits, it does'nt look good and i did'nt like what i saw. i got depressed knowing that i don't have the same bod, that no matter what i do, it's so hard to lose weight. I know i never had a slim, slender frame. I know i've always been blessed with hips, legs and behind. Ive accepted those things when i was still in high school. Fitting jeans take a whole day for me. But now, it just struck me that Free size shirts are not in my closet anymore...that when i try to fit blouses, i'd have to start with Large and i'd dread fitting an XL blouse.

This is also the first time i talked about this concern with my husband. (well, considering this is the first time i felt bad about it too) My husband took it as a surprise that it took a toll on me. He always sees me as a confident person and someone who knows how to handle herself, even if with a "little" weight gain. When i told him about it, he asked me what i wanted to do with it (well, men, men, men...they're after results and solutions) and he asked me if this is the time that we should start considering options like weight loss diet pill, or herbal teas, or Xenical. Karamba! i think i might start with the herbal tea like Bigerlai. I read about this from our n@w forum and im seriously considering starting with this one. I just hope it works. Oh with the christmas holiday coming...

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