The one with finally a SAHM

Yes, after seven long years of being employed to the first company that I have ever worked for (accenture employment for two months not counted), I have filed my resignation last August 31 effective september 1. Being an employee to one of the best, or probably the best Filipino employer in the country might make you wonder, 'why does she have to leave?' 'is she crazy?!' i had those remarks smacked on to my face already and i perfectly understand them. one of my friends even told me that many people would love to be in my employment shoes. well, don't get me wrong. I love working for my company. I have already imagined myself retiring there and I cannot ask for more. aside from the fringe benefits and a good compensation package, more importantly, i love working with my co-employees and our bosses. compared to other companies, ours was more low profile that let us be more transparent and easy to get along with.

So why the sudden change of heart? When you get to a certain situation that totally turns your whole life around literally, you tend to change your priorities in life, moreso, your decisions. And that certain situation came when I gave birth to Francesca Simone six months ago. Before I even got married, and even when i was only a student, I was a very, very hard-working person. I'd study overnight without any sleep, I'd work endlessly without overtime pay. hehe. I did'nt count my efforts because I like to see results with what i do and when it comes to work, I categorize myself as a workaholic and career-oriented person. I imagined myself being a boss someday and have the power to delegate and supervise work and make that change possible. But when I got pregnant, it was suddenly daunting me, without me knowing it, the passion for motherhood. My life is suddenly not 'just' about me or my husband's, but our child's as well. Knowing that every decision I'd have to make should be carefully given thought with, should be dealt with accordingly because at the end of the day, I have a child to take care of. Her life TOTALLY depends on me. and those things awed me...literally. I was overwhelmed with welcoming motherhood and I think spending the most quality time I can give to my baby is one of the priceless gifts I'd ever have to give.

Dont get me wrong, I'am not against working mothers and I will never be. In fact, I was raised by a working mom and I applaud my mom for raising us the way we were raised. My brothers and I share a very close bond and that I have to give credit to my mom. It's just that I realized that the 4 months I have worked after giving birth, I was looking for something else, something greater than what I'am doing at work. I wanted to try out something else, I wanted to explore other opportunities that I may have, I wanted to try a business and most importantly, I wanted to be more with my baby. All this can only be done if i leave my current company. And so, I filed my resignation and bid farewell to my close friends. I shared some tears with our boss whom I considered a dad to me. I felt the peace I was looking for, that finally I will be able to do the things I've wanted to do for the longest time.

So, what will I be doing now? While being a Stay-At-Home Mom, I decided to write a Life Plan for myself. At the top of my mind, here are some things I wanted to do first: 1) take care of the music studio - admin works, marketing efforts, promotions and getting more clients. from the time it was built, this business of ours has been neglected and i wanted to do more for this studio since this is our passion, music. 2) enroll in a training or seminar for wedding planning or accessory-making - people have been persuading me to try wedding planning as they totally envision me as such. I'll enroll first to a seminar and see where my feet will lead me. I've always known weddings have a special place in my heart. I just don't love them, I'm addicted to them for reasons I can't understand. haha. Maybe because wedding is a celebration of love blessed by God and to be a part of it is something worthwhile. 3) online money-making - we're not rich people and we also need extra income. i'm sure this will come in handy. 4) participate in Seeds of Hope ministry at our church - I have always had the burden to help these needy kids and I really wanted to make time for them and to help them out in whatever way i can. 5) be a full-pledged homemaker - for the couple of days after my resignation, it amazes me how time quickly flies even when you're at home. At the end of the day, I feel that I had so little time to do my chores or even my assignments for the day. haha. I still need some adjusting with this. i love finally having breakfast with simon on our dining table since we usually had our mobile (as in sa car) breakfast before 6) do whatever pleases me.

I cannot tell you how long this set-up will be. At the least, I have given myself six more months (until simone turns one) if this set-up will work. I do not even know if I'am meant to be a full-pledged homemaker. All I know is that at the moment, this is what I want. I know God has blessed our decision and He is pleased that we prioritize our family. I know God will provide and I know He will not forsake us. He has always been there, and He will always be.