Friday, July 11, 2008

The one with why have them?

Jeng posted a question that i never thought of asking myself, and it's a good one. The egroup was flooded with a lot of responses as to why we want to have kids and it's surprising how the responses were. There were some who wanted to wait, some who wanted but can't, some who really don't want to have one. I'am yet to finish reading the posts on the thread but I'd like to share our (my husband's and I) thoughts on why we wanted to have kids.

When i popped the question to Simon last night as we were driving towards home and i was carrying a sleeping baby, we were both shocked that it took us some time before we can answer the question. Reasons that it is biblical (to have a family and increase in number) and that society dictates it(here in the philippines where after a wedding, a baby should come in immediately and a raise of an eyebrow will be thrown at you should you decide not to have one immediately...stereotype i know) are already given and laid down so we don't consider that as our personal views. And I was so glad with the realizations that we had last night.

Wanting to have a child is not a personal gain. As it is fulfilling and makes you more responsible, it does'nt make you more important as a person. The essence of it does'nt lie on being able to raise one because should it be, material wealth will be the answer of it all. But of course, reasons add to it that we can raise one and that we want to be responsible beings by being able to take care of an individual which makes us mature somehow.

But our realizations pointed us to the fact that a child is the fruit of your love for each other. You see, when Simon and I became a couple some nine years back, we knew for fact that we will marry and we'll have kids. We saw it as leveling up our relationship. It's the same reason why we marry in the first place. Because we wanted to tell the world that hey, we're one step higher on being a couple and that we declare our love as husband and wife. cliche as it is, but it's true. The same goes for having a baby. We wanted to have one because simone is the fruit of our love and she is. And we are just amazed at how the miracle of her life is. The fact that two different individuals (simon and i) can both identify with someone that you call your child. Is'nt it amazing how God makes it that way? You see a part of yourself in that growing person and you know that you are called to do everything that will make her life good.

Having a child makes you believe that there is such thing as a selfless love. God has that for us, and being a parent is one selfless love.

1 comment:

jengki said...

Kami rin ni jeff, akala namin parang ang dali ng sagot...pero kapag inisip mo talaga, mas malalim pala yun mga dahilan...something to ponder talaga ;)