Monday, May 05, 2008

The Mom you're meant to be

The Mom You're Meant to be
by Cheri Fuller

This is the book I've been reading for a while now. It's actually a short-read one but for some reasons, I don't want to finish reading it and i keep on coming back to read the chapters i just read. It's a very practical book, very different from what i usually take out of my small library. And what's good about it is that it quotes Bible verses from which the author used as her guiding principles on how to be the mom that we are all meant to be.

And since mothers' day falls this month, I'd like to dedicate this month into sharing bits and pieces of the book. Every now and then, I will try to post and share important things to ponder. These are all practical tips, and application of which may depend on the age of your kids, but i'm sure it will still be as helpful.

CHAPTER ONE: THROW AWAY THE COOKIE CUTTER

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. God was and is the only perfect parent. And that being the case, there is no such thing as a perfect child either. We, as mothers, may have unintentionally or intentionally set standards on our child's developments, thus, the occurrence of “false expectations” and gaps between the parent and the child. More important than tracking if your child has reached his milestone at a specific phase or not is the term “goodness of fit” or “attunement”. More important than children having “ideal” characteristics – such as adaptability and compliance—that make them easy to deal with is the “fit” that grows between parent and child.

I often hear the words “never compare your child to others” as no two kids are alike, not even twins. But I myself cannot stop from asking about my friends with kids the same age as my daughter's. It's not because I want to compare but because I want to check if what my baby is going through is a normal phase. But there are different children's intelligence types and learning styles. If we, the parents, could master this, we will understand, accept and enjoy our child more. We will better understand what their gifts are, what their wants and needs are and approach them in ways that they will comprehend.

There are different learning styles for every child. To help us discover what it is for your own child, try this simple exercise.

Imagine you're reading aloud from a book with the repeated refrain “and the rabbit went hop, hop, hop” Does your child:

· Come up close, perhaps insisting on being on your lap, to see the pictures? This is a sign of a visual learner.
· Mimic the words of the refrain or interrupt to talk about the story? This is a sign of an auditory learner.
· Move around and do what the refrain says – hop, hop, hop? This is a sign of a kinesthetic learner.


Simone came up close to see the pictures. She is a visual learner. She loves flash cards and books with lots of pictures in it. Here's another interesting exercise:

DIFFERENT KINDS OF SMART

· The Musical Child is always singing a song (usually, right on pitch) or moving to a beat. He easily remembers a tone, melody or rhythm.
· The People Smart Child is a social butterfly, loves being with a group playing and taking the lead, and has great communication skills
· The Body Smart Child has extra energy and loves sports. She remembers songs with body movements the best.
· The Spatially Smart Child can look at directions in a LEGO set and put the whole project together. He enjoys drawings, solving puzzles and mazes, and designing things.
· The Math Smart Child is always sorting, classifying, sequencing objects and analyzing things.
· The Verbally Smart Child loves word play, telling stories and listening to books being read. She has an uncanny memory for words.

I have not yet experienced some of the instances that can help me identify which smart child is my baby but I can see that she's leaning more on the verbally smart one, the body smart one, and the musical child. She taps her fingers to music, she loves it when someone reads to her, and she remembers dance steps of “tak-tak mo” and “kagat labi” and does it everytime she hears them. (titles of novelty songs played in GMA's eat Bulaga)

There, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Will post more insights soon. Motherhood rocks!

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